The accident
by CatchingStar
Summary: Re-posted and corrected! Sara gets injured and Catherine will be there for her. Femmeslash.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first long fic about CSR so please be nice. **

**I want to say thank you to Deb (wee idgie) for having the patient, the strength ****and of course finding time to read my fic and help me with my English mistakes. It made a huge difference. Thank you.**

**Catherine and Sara are not my characters but I think you guys know that by now ;)  
**

Catherine stepped out of her car and blew her lover a kiss along with the silently mouthed words 'I love you', before getting into the elevator. Because none of the co-workers knew about the relationship, they always travelled to the lab in separate cars and tried hard to keep their hands and eyes off each other during work time. If she was honest, Sara was getting tired of it. She wanted people to know just how much she loved Catherine and how much Catherine loved her back. So what if they were both girls? It shouldn't matter to anyone!

Once in the break room, Sara went straight to the coffee machine. Everyone was already in the room waiting for Grissom with the assignments but she didn't say anything to anyone. As soon as she took a seat, Grissom entered.

"Ok guys. We have two cases tonight. Catherine, Warrick, you have a B and E at the Tropicana. If for some reason you need it a hand, call Greg. Nick, you and Sara have a homicide in Henderson"

"What about you?" asked Catherine.

"I have a meeting with the sheriff."

"Anything we should be worried about?" Warrick said before anyone else did.

"It's about some new technology that we are trying to get him to buy, nothing serious." Everyone at the room sighed in relief. Not wanting to wait any longer Sara got up from the chair and walked towards the door.

"Are you coming or not?" she shouted back at Nick as she realized he hadn't moved yet. It wasn't her intention for it to sound so harsh it just came out that way. Not wanting to be the centre of everyone's attention, she left without another word.

Sara was wrapped in herself and didn't hear the footsteps behind her. "Are you ok, Sara?" She jumped out of her skin as a man spoke. She turned to shout at who ever had startled her but stop when she realised it was just Greg and that he was already feeling a little guilty for startling her.

"Yeah, I'm… fine. Just a little tired." He looked at her trying to figure out whether she was telling him the truth or not. After a few moments he nodded in understanding and turned to leave.

"You know if you ever need to talk Sar, you know where to find me." Despite the flirting thing, Greg was really very sweet and Sara really cared about him.

"Thanks Greg"

She grabbed her stuff in the locker and went to parking lot. She found Nick there already waiting, leaning against the SUV. She unlocked the door and they both got in.

"I'm sorry Nick; I didn't mean to speak to you like that."

"Everyone does it every now and then Sara, it's no big deal."

She smiled at the kind Texan, he was like a brother to her. "Thanks."

They drove to the scene in complete silence. Though at any other time she'd actually be grateful for the silence, today she realised she'd prefer mindless conversation to take her mind off her frustrations. On arrival at the scene they both got out of the car and walked to the front door, stepping underneath the yellow tape and finding Brass waiting for them.

"The victim's name is Anthony Carson. Neighbour called because she heard a gun shot." Brass explained.

"Did he have a wife or girlfriend or any children?" Sara asked.

"Apparently, he was married to his job. He travelled a lot on business and didn't have any time for a relationship or a family."

"Even workaholics can find time to have someone in their lives." Sara said absently. Nick and Brass looked at her surprised but said nothing. "So, where is the body?"

"Bedroom," came the detective's one-word reply.

"Ok, thanks. Is it ok with you if I…?" she looked at Nick and nodded toward the house.

"Sure. No problem." Sara walked towards the front door and stepped inside.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Nick turned to Brass. "She was talking about herself, right?"

"Well if she was, then I couldn't be happier for her," the detective replied, his lips curling into a small smile.

"Yeah, me too," Nick agreed.

Inside the house Sara was impressed by the order and cleanliness. Motive wasn't robbery, this guy had good stuff and it was all still in its place. She walked slowly to the bedroom at the end of the hall. She placed her case just on the inside of the door and took a good look around. The victim was laid on the floor just in front of the bathroom entrance, wearing a blue robe. Apart from that there didn't seem to be much out of place. She took plenty of photos of the body where it lay which was all she could do until the assistant coroner arrived to perform his assessment and do a TOD. She took a few pictures of the room too, just in case she needed later.

It didn't take long before David arrived, shooting the brunette a warm, genuine smile. Placing his case down, he knelt and began his first examination of the dead man.

"A gunshot with no exit wound. No marks on the wrists," he said as he turned the body. "That can indicate one of two things, either the victim knew his killer or he was taken by surprise."

"Or both," Sara added.

"According to the liver temperature, time of death was six hours ago. I'll try to get you more during the autopsy."

"Thanks David." Sara smiled at her gentle colleague.

"No problem Sara. I'll see you back at the lab."

Now that the body had been removed, Sara could focus on collecting the evidence: fingerprints, fibres, hairs as well as some sort of botanical material on the carpet near to where the body had laid. She used Luminol on the sheets and found no trace of sexual activity. She took a few final images of the closet and bathroom and began to pack up her kit.

"Everything ok in here?" Nick asked having finishing the front of the house.

"The guy clearly did live alone. There is no second toothbrush in the bathroom, no sign of anything that belongs to a woman there and in the closet," she answered. "I got some trace evidence from around the place but my guess will probably all be his. You had any luck?"

"Actually yes, the front door was clearly forced. I found cigarettes and footprints in the garden. I've taken photographs and an impression of the print."

"Well I hope that will help us to catch the bastard." Nick nodded in agreement. "We have enough to be working on, maybe we should head back now?" she suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

They were walking down the path to towards the SUV when suddenly a gun shot echoed out of nowhere. Nick instinctively grabbed Sara's arm, pushing her nearer to the vehicle for protection. Hidden behind the hood, he scanned the street trying to work out where the sound had come from but couldn't see anyone besides cops all of whom seemed to be at a complete loss as to where the hell it had come from.

"Nick?" Sara's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

"I know. We need to get out of here."

"That would be great but there's just one problem."

He looked at her in confusion. Sara's gaze fell downwards to where she was desperately trying to contain the blood pouring from her stomach.

"Oh my God! We need an ambulance here!" he screamed placing both his hands on Sara's belly and applying pressure to the wound. "It's ok. Everything is going to be ok Sara." He said trying not to show his own panic for her sake. "Get me a paramedic here – NOW!"

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"If something happens to me, if I don't make it. I need you… to do me a favour."

"Sssh Sara, this is not the time to speak… And you're going to be ok, ok? Just hang in there"

"If I don't make it, tell Catherine that… she is the most…. important person in my life… and that…." Sara tried to finish, but her voice no longer came. It was getting harder and harder to stay awake.

"No Sara, stay with me. Damn it Sara. SARA." Nick called her name but there was no answer. He looked up at Brass who had rushed over when he heard Nick's frantic cries. There was a mixture of shock and fear in his eyes as he continued to cover the wound. The blood still seemed to be flowing despite his efforts.

The paramedics arrived barely two minutes later and Nick stepped aside, tears in his eyes, so they could take care of her. Brass put his hand reassuringly on the young CSI's shoulder before returning to his officer's, shouting orders. Nick could only watch as they lifted her fragile unconscious form onto the stretcher and into the back of the ambulance.

"Are you coming?" A paramedic yelled over to Nick, who was stood staring into space in complete shock. They were racing against time so not getting any answer from the zoned out CSI he got inside the ambulance and shut the doors behind him.

A loud sound brought Nick back to reality as he saw the ambulance speed off. He flipped open his cell phone and began to dial a well-known number.

"Gris, we have a huge problem."

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

Trying so hard not to freak, Nick could only get out the necessary details and no more. "Of all the guys, she will not be able to handle this one, believe me!" he closed the phone before Grissom could say anything else. Raising his hand to his hair, he let the tears that he'd been holding back finally fall. Sara was like a sister to him and knowing that she was fighting for her life with a chance of loosing, was something he had never imagined. "No! She will live! She will live to be happy with the person whom she loves!"

During five years the only person Sara seemed to show any signs of caring about was Grissom, someone who doesn't even possess the skills of basic human interaction, especially not toward women. He seemed able to hurt her with the littlest things and Sara deserved better. It had been part of the reason why Nick had tried to arrange dates for her with his friends. If he'd had known that Sara played for the other team he would never have tried getting into his friends.

Sara and Catherine had never seemed to get along, in fact they seemed to fight most of the time but maybe that was just surface bitchiness, mainly on Catherine's part, rather than hate. Sara, well Sara always tried to get along with her colleagues, even the blonde no matter what was thrown at them.

Catherine was totally different from Grissom, not only in her gender, but her ability to handle people - she is a people person. She is kind, passionate in everything she does, loyal, all qualities that suggest Sara would be in very safe hands and that, in then end, is the only thing that matters.

As soon as Nick hung up, Grissom hurried from his office to find the rest of his team. Warrick and Greg were in the DNA lab and he quickly explained what had happened. Asking Warrick to meet him at the car, he went look for Catherine. He didn't wait even long enough for the guys to say anything before rushing off again. Catherine was in her office doing some research on her computer.

"Hey" he said softly making his presence known as he stepped into her office.

"Hey. What's up?" Catherine asked, taking off her glasses and turning her chair toward him.

"I need to know… is there something going on between you and Sara?"

"Has someone told you we are fighting again, because if they have the answer is 'no'"

"I'm asking if there's more between you than merely being co-workers or friends." Catherine stared at Grissom for a few seconds but he couldn't maintain eye contact.

"_Is he just fishing or does he know?" the blonde asked to herself. "Is he hurt about it? I mean, did he really believe that Sara would wait for him after so long and all the pain he put her through?"_

"Why are you asking Grissom?" Catherine asked, trying her best to appear calm and not be rude.

"I've just had a phone call from Nick. Something went wrong at their crime scene and I…" Grissom watched as his friend's eyes widened in fear, she began to panic.

"What Grissom, she is… is she?"

"Catherine, she was shot." Catherine's was suddenly terrified. "She's been rushed to hospital and the doctors are working to stabilize her right now as we speak"

"And instead of just telling me you decide that now is the time to ask questions?" She yelled, furious and afraid. "You are fucking unbelievable Grissom! And I was right. She doesn't deserve someone as selfish as you!" With that Catherine stormed from the room leaving a stunned Grissom behind. She had never spoken to him like that before but right now Catherine didn't care about Grissom, or her job for that matters, she only cared about Sara.

Entering the car, Catherine called Nick to check what hospital they took Sara to. As soon as she got her answer she flipped the phone shut, she couldn't talk to anyone right now, she just needed to get to Sara and fast.

"Hi. I'm looking for a patient named Sidle… Sara Sidle" she asked feeling a lump swell in her throat as she said the name of the woman she loved.

"Are you a family member or her emergency contact?"

"I'm Catherine Willows, I'm her partner. Please, I need to know how she is doing." Catherine swallowed trying to keep the emotion back.

"Ok. I'll see what I can find out for you." Catherine nodded.

She had been inside of hospitals a lot whilst on her cases. Assaults, accidents, attempted suicides and God knows what else, and every time she was tried to be professional, showing the she cared but never losing control of her feelings. This time however is was not just anyone inside this hospital. It was her lover and best friend and her ability to hold it together was quickly fading.

"God please don't let her die!" she prayed, resting her elbows on the balcony railing and closing her eyes. "Not now, not today! Don't take her away from me. Please!" She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked at the nice lady. She wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"The doctor will talk with you if you come with me Ms Willows." Said the nurse, her voice was full of compassion. Catherine nodded and followed her down the corridor. They stopped in front of a big white door as the doctor walked in their direction.

"Dr. Marlow, this is…"

"CSI Willows, I know." He interrupted the nurse and held out his hand.

"How is she, please tell me." Catherine pleaded ignoring his hand, she just needed to know.

"Miss Sidle is a very lucky woman. The bullet didn't reach any vital organs and we were able to remove it. Now we have to wait and see how she will respond. We expect her to wake in a few hours."

Catherine's breath flooded from her as fresh tears began to fall.

"There are a couple of things regarding Miss Sidle that I need to talk to you about. Would you take a seat?"

"No, I'm ok"

"While assessing the extent of her injuries we noticed some things that were inconsistent with the gunshot wound."

"What kind of things?" the worry had re-appeared on Catherine's face.

"We noticed a lot of old scarring, evidence of a dislocated shoulder, broken ribs and other things that would seem to suggest abuse." Catherine's looked, her tears continuing to fall, but she said nothing. "By your reaction I can assume you already knew?"

"No I didn't." Catherine eventually spoke her voice small and croaky. "I can't say it never crossed my mind, though. Sara never talks about her past. I mean ever. And she always takes domestic abuse cases pretty hard so now I understand why."

"Just because we have the guts to do a job where we see people at their worst, doesn't mean we are not deeply affected by what we see." Catherine nodded unable to stop yet more tears spilling from her eyes.

After a short while the nurse came back into the room. "Miss Sidle will be transferred to a private room where you will be able to see her - room 1016."

Catherine nodded and walked back into the corridor, she thanked Dr Marlow who touched her arm with a smiled in reassurance. "She's a fighter, she'll be ok," he whispered gently then turned and left Catherine to process what he'd told her and compose herself.

"She's alive!" she repeated over and over under her breath.

"Any news?"

"Christ Nick. Don't scare me like that!"

"I'm so sorry Catherine. How is she doing?"

"She is alive, she's a fighter."

"Oh thank God. I don't know what I would have done if…" Nick's voice trailed off and Catherine squeezed his arm letting him know it was ok. "We were just leaving the scene and someone shot from God-knows-where. I didn't see it Cat and than she was bleeding and… I'm really sorry for not protecting her. I should've…"

"You did your best Nick and Sara will be ok," she said as much to reassure herself as to reassure Nick, "that's all that matters." Nick nodded but couldn't make eye contact with the blonde CSI. "Come on; let's get a cup of coffee while they sort out her private room."

The two friends walked down the corridor in silence, both wishing that this had never happened. Nick paid for the coffee and they searched for Sara's room.

"You go." Nick gestured into the room. "I just needed to see she was ok with my own eyes." He put a hand on Catherine's shoulder and squeezed softy. "She really loves you, you know. Take good care of her" he said before turned and leave. Catherine watched as her friend walked away surprised and feeling a warmth rush through her fragile emotions. Sara had been thinking of her.

Catherine tried to stay cool while entering the room. They had been dating for eight months and for Catherine it had been amazing. She had finally found someone sweet and caring, who made her feel safe and loved every day, someone who treated Lindsey like a mini-adult, not an annoying eleven-year-old kid. Sara asked her opinion on things that most adults wouldn't and always found time to answer her questions and explain things to the little girl. A few days ago she'd asked Lindsey if she'd mind staying at her Aunts house for the night so she could take her mum out for a romantic dinner. Lindsey had felt really important and of course had agreed. Raising her hand to lover's brown hair, Catherine felt the tears resurfacing in her eyes. She planted a softest kiss on the corner of Sara mouth and pulled a chair closer to the bed so she could hold her hand.

"Thank you for not taking her away from me." Catherine whispered towards the ceiling then resting her head on the bed.

The sound of her cell-phone ringing dragged her from sleep. She hadn't meant to fall asleep but the emotion of the day had caught up with her. She quickly rejected the call to silence the phone then looked at the display, it was Nancy. Looking up at the clock on the wall she realized it was nine thirty. She had not only slept for an hour and a half but she'd also forgotten about getting Lindsey to school. She stood and stretched her stiff limbs, satisfying herself that Sara was still asleep before stepping out of the room and returning her sister's call.

"Cat? Where are you? You didn't show up to take Lindsey to school."

"I know"

"She has a test today. You know how much she's studied for that."

"Yes but…"

"She was late Catherine. I had to tell her teacher that something serious had happened so she wouldn't get into trouble."

"Sara was shot," Catherine interrupted silencing her sister.

"Did you just say…?"

"Sara was shot at a crime scene. I'm at the hospital."

"Oh god, is she ok?" Nancy asked hesitantly.

"They took her into surgery but she's stable now. But she's not awake yet." Catherine gazed through the doorway at her lover and sighed. "I will explain everything to Lindsey later ok? Right now I can't be anywhere else but here."

"I understand"

"I can't lose her Nancy. I can't lose the person who has made me believe in love again, I just can't."

"You won't sis. Sara loves you deeply and she is a fighter, she will fight for you." Catherine nodded as if her sister was right in front of her. "Do you want me to come and be with you?"

"No. it's ok. Its probably better that she doesn't have too much people in her room."

"Ok, I'll call you in a few hours to find out how things are, ok?"

"Thanks Nancy." Catherine was relieved she had such a loving supportive sister. "Oh and Nancy, I don't want Lindsey to know about the accident."

"She deserves to know Cat. She loves Sara"

"I know, but not right now. I need to tell her myself, maybe tomorrow."

"I won't say anything but you will have to tell her soon Cath."

"Thank you." Closing the phone, Catherine re-entered Sara's the room and sat back down taking her hand and squeezing it. "Please wake up sweetie. I need you so, so much." She took Sara's hand to her face, pretending that Sara was actually initiating the touch.

For a few seconds Catherine didn't realize that the hand had started moving on its own. Her eyes suddenly flipped open and she smiled the biggest smile as her eyes met the two beautiful brown orbs of Sara.

"I need you too" Sara spoke in the faintest whisper. One single tear fell down her cheek and Catherine brushed it away with her thumb. Caressing her soft face and hair, Catherine carefully leaned over and planted little kisses over Sara's dry lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now that you've kissed me. Can I get another?" Catherine laughed at her lover's childlike innocence and bends to kiss her again - as if she could ever deny her request.

"Now seriously Sara, are you sure you're ok, not in any pain?"

"A little I suppose and my belly feels a bit strange."

"I think that's probably normal after being shot, but I'll call the doctor to check on you."

"No. Don't go!" Sara says grabbing Catherine hand. The slight movement increased Sara's internal pain but she tried not to show it. She had learned as kid how to suppress the pain and had gotten very good at it. This time however Catherine noticed her sharp intake of breath and the slight wince. Catherine smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be right back, I promise." Sara watched the door close and looked at the windows. Hospital, if there was one place she couldn't stand to be, it was in a hospital.

_Mother and daughter entered the ER. The mother looked around furtively as she asked for a doctor to take a look at her daughter who had fallen off her bicycle. A doctor came and duly examined the little girl, every scratch and every bruise. During the exam the girl didn't look anywhere but at her mother. She couldn't. _

_As the doctor asked the inevitable questions she answered with nothing but well-practiced lies. There was no bicycle accident, in fact there was no bicycle, only good girls had bicycles and it was not her case. She had to protect herself from him. Or else she would be beaten and abused all over again._

The door opened again and Sara was brought back to reality.

"Hello Miss Sidle, I'm Dr. Marlow, it is good to see you're awake." Sara stared at him but didn't say anything. "Your friend said you are a little uncomfortable so I'll take a closer look, ok?" Sara just continued staring.

The doctor lifted the sheet to lift her gown and check the wound. Every time he touched Sara she flinched and her fist balled as if she was ready to punch him. It wasn't a reaction to the pain; Sara was used to far worse pain. Rather, it was a conditional reflex to doctors. As soon as he finished, Sara pulled gown tightly round herself. Catherine watched every expression, every movement that her lover made. She was concerned yet impressed with her control.

"Everything seems ok. Your partner told me about the tingling, but there is nothing to worry about. You'll have to try not to move for a few days until your body has chance to heal from the inside." Again Sara didn't say or do anything. "If you feel in too much pain, just call the nurse and she will help make you more comfortable." Dr. Marlow smiled politely at both ladies and left the room.

"Well, I have to say, even Lindsey, when she broke her leg had treated the doctor better than you." Sara raised her eyebrow as if saying 'well good for her'. "Baby, are you going to tell me why?" Catherine asked stepping closer to the bed. Sara looked away under her concerned expression and didn't answer. "Ok. Fine." Catherine acknowledges in temporary surrender, "I'll go grab something to eat, do you want me to get you something?" Again there was not a single answer.

As Catherine left the room, the tears Sara had fought hard to keep back started to fall, anger and sorrow, swirling in her brown eyes. Resting her hands above her belly, Sara tried to calm herself down, knowing that her racking sobs would only cause more pain.

Normal people just can't understand what abused people go through almost every day or know how many bad memories can surface with just one word or gesture. So many doctors will take the patient's word for it, sometimes ignoring what is right in front of them. Deep down Sara always wanted people to see it, to understand, to feel her pain and most of all to do something about it for her, to see through the lies she would tell them.

Catherine came back to see Sara's eyes closed as if she was asleep. She sat down on the chair her gaze never leaving Sara's. The trail of tears down her lover's cheeks did not go unnoticed.

"Why can't you just tell me sweetie?" she whispered, her own words breaking with emotion. "You know I'm here for you always and I'll never leave you, unless you asked me to."

Every person in the lab showed up to see how Sara was doing. Sara was like a sister to Nick, a very dear friend of Warrick, the only investigator in the department who could match and sometimes even out-think Grissom and with Greg, well he loved her, in a platonic sense and she loved him too. Catherine felt nervous as she saw them all with the woman she loved more than anything. She just didn't know how they would react when they found out the truth about their feelings for each other.

**tbc**


	3. Chapter 3

Days went by and Sara was getting more and more frustrated. The only good part of the day was when she was alone with Catherine but as was to be expected Catherine had other things she had to take care of and, as much as she wanted to, couldn't be there all the time. Sara knew and understood, but she hated the hospital and the nightmares kept coming back thicker and faster, haunting her. She released a deep breath as she flopped back against the pillows, wincing as her stitches tightened.

"That'll teach you to ignore the doctor's orders," a female voice said. Sara looked up and met the intense blue gaze with a wide smile.

"You're early."

"Do you want me to go and come back later? I can if you want"

"Oh God no, please!" Catherine looked at Sara in confusion. She was only kidding but Sara completely missed her teasing tone. Catherine came closer to the bed and touched her love's face before gently kissing her lips, passing her tongue over it. A satisfied sigh crept out from within Sara as she felt the comfort she craved.

"How is everything is going with your case?"

"You're supposed to be resting, not worrying about work," Catherine said sitting down and crossing her legs.

"Oh come on Cath, I'm so bored in here. Are you are not going to give me anything?" Catherine's left eyebrow went up as she thought for a second about her answer.

"We already processed most of the evidence and we are waiting on the results of a few tests. Satisfied?"

"Pretty much yeah," Sara responded with a smile even though she wasn't really.

"What about you?" The smile dropped immediately from Sara's lips as she groaned in annoyance.

"From the sounds of it they want to keep me here until the stitches come out."

"Well, I don't blame them. I only hope you've been paying more attention to the doctor's orders about keeping still when you're alone. Not just when I'm here."

"I didn't pull anything. And I'm bored Cat. They haven't even let me start walking yet. It was a clean cut for Pete's sake, they'd have anyone else up and around by now. At this point, any change of scenery would be welcome."

"Well, Sara, you're about to get your wish." Dr Marlow said making his presence known in the room.

"I can walk?" Sara asked hopefully, the same question she'd asked him each day since she woke up from the operation.

"Of course not!" the doctor said, laughing, "I don't trust you to walk slowly and steadily with all the whining, and complaining you've been doing. You are definitely not careful enough young lady. With you, I am taking no chances. However, we do have this nice wheelchair all ready for you."

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind," she grumbled.

"Then _rest _instead of fussing all the time. You're lucky you didn't pull your wound open again completely last night." Catherine looked from Sara, to the doctor, and back to Sara. She'd expected the nightmares, after all they are common side effect of a traumatic event, but she though Sara would have told her. Catherine looked rightly concerned, but Sara was obviously avoiding her gaze. She'd have to get it out of her later. "I'm sure if you ask nicely enough, your lovely friend here will push you."

Catherine wanted to push Sara whether Doctor Marlow had said so or not but as Sara turned her pleading eyes on her she realized that he would never have stood a chance. "I will, but not too far," she warned, ever conscious.

Sara rolled her eyes, but had brightened significantly. "The garden perhaps? I need somefresh air!"

Catherine looked to the doctor, who nodded. "Sure."

It didn't take too long to get Sara into the wheelchair, something that most definitely did not come as a surprise to either the doctor or Catherine. Sara was very cooperative when she wanted something badly enough and there were only two things she could think of that would be better at this moment: walking and leaving.

The day was perfect as they made their way through the greenery, but for all Sara cared, it could have been pouring with rain. She was just glad to be outside of the jail cell disguised as a hospital room. Catherine stopped next to a bench and helped Sara to get out of the chair. Sara leaned her head back basking in the heat of the sun on her face. It felt fantastic and her eyes fell closed in sheer bliss. The fresh air was a welcome change from the constant smell of antiseptic and bleach.

Catherine smiled at the happy look on Sara's face. She'd always been anxious in the hospital, fidgety and uncomfortable. Out here, she looked much more at ease. And, she had to admit, even more beautiful.

"Tell me a story," Sara requested suddenly, leaning her head on Catherine's shoulder, her whole body following. Or, it did until she leaned awkwardly and shot up with a hiss. Catherine reacted immediately, bending over her, hands stroking her sides.

"Are you okay?" Sara didn't say anything for a few moments. Then she took Catherine's left hand and held it just under her own against her scar. Finally her eyes opened to meet the Catherine's questioning look.

"The heat works like a painkiller."

"Maybe we should go back in."

She was shaking her head before she'd finished the suggestion. "No way!" Her face was frantic. She needed to be out of her room for longer than just a few minutes. "The doctors have been cutting back on the strength and dose of the meds."

"Is that a good thing?" Catherine asked, carefully maneuvering herself to sit back again while keeping her hand on Sara's stomach.

"If I don't want to be addicted to horse tranquillizers," Sara replied wryly, "now what about my story?"

"What kind of story do you want?" Catherine asked with a sigh, wrapping her arm around Sara's shoulders and gently pulling her body into hers.

"I don't care," she answered, dropping her head to her shoulder, "anything."

It was a few hours later that Catherine wheeled Sara back to her room, the patient trying to hide her huge yawns. She'd actually fallen asleep during one of the stories Catherine had been telling her about the team and their adventures before she'd joined. It was Catherine's cue to get her weakened lover back to her bed.

Sara was decidedly reluctant to give up her wheelchair for two solid reasons. It meant the loss of the freedom she'd had for a few hours and it also meant Catherine was probably going to head home.

Once she was settled in her bed again propped against clean pillows, her medication taken and eyelids drooping, she grabbed Catherine's hand. "Thank you for telling me the stories and for just being here" she said sincerely.

"No thanks necessary sweetie," she responded, instinctively leaning in to kiss her cheek. "I brought you this." Catherine lifted a _Barnes & Noble_ bag from the nearby chair. "Everyone contributed but I think you'll like the ones at the bottom the best."

"Thank you".

"No problem. Now try to sleep a little."

"Can you lay down with me for awhile before you have to leave?"

"I'm not going anywhere today Sara, and if you want me to lie with you, I will"

"I do. I don't like to be alone here" Sara said finally showing some of her weakness. Catherine smiled at her lover expression and got up on the bed trying to get comfortable without hurting Sara. "I love you."

"I love you too baby, with all my heart." Sara sighed happily and pulled Catherine as close as she could.

That night Sara didn't have any nightmares, which wasn't a surprise to her. Every time Catherine was close she felt safe and indestructible. They would have slept longer if it wasn't for voices in the room. Catherine was the first to wake up and see four rather surprised people. She blushed and was about to get up when Sara whispered still half-asleep.

"No, stay. You know how much I love to be like this with you" Catherine blushed at the statement and lean closer to her lover.

"I know honey, but we have company" Catherine whispered kissing Sara's cheek.

"We have what?" Sara ask open her eyes and looking at the room "Oh. Hi guys" she said blushing really hard.

"How long you guys have being dating?" asked Greg breaking the silence. Catherine looks at Sara who held Catherine hand tight.

"Ten months." she answered staring deeply into blue eyes.

"Ten months?!" Warrick, Nick and Greg exclaimed in chorus.

"How did we not notice that?" asked Nick.

"We were careful," Catherine admitted, looking from Sara to her friends, "we didn't know how things would work out between us, both inside and outside work, so we decided to wait and see before bring the news to you guys. And for the record, things are great."

"More than great," Sara corrected, "I've known for a long time that I have been falling in love with Catherine. She is the most beautiful, caring person I know and by being with her, I found myself. I love everything about her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her and Lindsey. I love that little girl so much." Catherine who wasn't expecting such a declaration of love, was speechless, her blue eyes glistened full of tears. Not being able to say anything, she just kissed her.

"That was beautiful…" her voice cracked, "you're beautiful, and I want to be with you forever."

"In that case, congratulations you two" said Warrick. "I'm happy that you finally realized what was behind all that tension at the lab."

"Yeah, congratulations, you two deserve so much to be happy." said Nick.

"I guess I never did have a chance," sighed Greg.

"Sorry Greg. I do love you kiddo, but not like that," Sara winked.

"You'll find someone amazing to be with when you least expect it, Greg." said Catherine with a smile. The young lab-tech nodded blushing. There was one more thing that needed to be said and Sara looked from Catherine to Grissom with a nervous tentative smile. The man was stoic, not showing any emotion at all.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way Gris and I'm for the ways things have been in the past. You are a brilliant and handsome guy, but it would never have worked between us. We are too much alike. I need someone that has things in common but a lot of differences too and in Catherine I have found that person."

"We wanted to tell you in private, Gil, we really did, because of the history between you two but…"

"Well I got shot and you guys simple walked in here without knocking first…" Sara interrupted her.

"Sorry," Catherine completed, "I… we hope you understand."

The room fell into silence, the girls waiting for some reaction, any reaction from Grissom. His brain was probably scrabbling for something, anything, to say or how to react and his colleagues knew they couldn't do anything to help.

"I should get back to work," Grissom breathed finally, turning around.

"Please, Gris. Don't do this." Sara says begging. She was so hurt that her voice came as a mere whisper.

"You guys have already proved you can work together without let your feelings get in the way and that's enough for me," he spoke quietly before leaving.

Everyone in the room looked perplexed, to say at least. They knew Grissom was unemotional, but how he had just acted was wrong, very wrong.

Catherine on her part was fuming. How dare he treat Sara like that! After all they have, even if not romantically speaking the least he could do is to pretend to be happy for her and not treating her as if she was a guilty criminal. And what for? For trying to be happy after all the shit she had endured because of him!

"Oh no, you don't!" said Warrick, stopping Catherine before she could go out of the door. He saw the rage in her eyes and knew exactly what she was about to do.

"Warrick, I can't let him treat her like that," she whispered. They both left the room so Catherine could calm down and they could talk.

"I know, and I agree that what he did was cruel, but you can't talk to him in this state. It won't do any good, for you, for him, and especially for Sara. It's _Sara_ that needs you right now."

"You're right," Catherine sighed. "I don't know why I thought he would understand and maybe even be happy just because we are happy, well… because _she_ is happy. Well, she will be after leaving here, but…"

"I know but you know Grissom is an idiot when it comes to people, living ones I mean."

"That isn't an excuse Warrick, not anymore. He has known her for years, more than we have, and knows how much she cares about him and his opinion, his approval."

"Don't worry Cat, he is the one who messed up. We will show him that much. No one treats our friend like that!" Greg interrupted agitatedly. Catherine looked at his earnest face and nodded in understanding.

"We should get going guys," said Nick, "Sara needs to rest and we have work to do." Warrick and Greg nodded at him.

"Are you going to work too?" Warrick directed at Catherine.

"No. I just don't think I can right now."

"Ok. We will cover it for you."

"Thank you guys, for everything!"

Warrick nodded and kissed her forehead before they left. Catherine turned back to the room after they disappeared down the hallway and as she entered, Sara was looking out of the window. The brunette didn't seem to acknowledge her presence.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," Catherine said, stepping closer again. "I'm sorry things didn't work out as well as we'd hoped."

"It's not your fault" Sara mouthed, looking down at their joined hands and then up at Catherine. "It is no-one's fault and I'm ok with it."

"Really?" Catherine asked raising one eyebrow. Sara smiled at her lover's suspicion and nodded.

"I waste too many tears because of him Cat. I won't do it again. If he can't be gracious, if he can't be happy for us or understand, then that is his problem. The only one I care about right now, is you." Catherine smiled from ear to ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, so much." The blond kissed Sara's mouth. Not satisfied with a simple kiss, Sara pulled Catherine's face back to hers and deepened the contact. Catherine moaned deep into Sara's throat.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there is someone here who wants to see Sara," a familiar female voice behind them spoke. Catherine and Sara both smiled happy at seeing Nancy and Lindsey in the room. "She couldn't wait anymore," Nancy winked sending a silent apology to her sister.

"And that's ok," Sara said before Catherine could open her mouth, "Come here sweetie." Lindsey let go of her aunt's hand and immediately climbed up on the bed. "Give me a hug kiddo."

"Be careful, Sara needs you to be gentle Linds," warned Catherine.

"I want a real one," whispered Sara and Lindsey smiled from ear to ear hugging her tighter. "How are you doing sweetie?"

"I'm good, I'm happy that I could finally come see you cos I missed you. Oh and I missed you too mom," Catherine chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"I've missed you too Linds, very much," said Sara stroking the little girl's hair.

"When you will you be coming home Sara?" Lindsey asked. The question surprised everyone in the room.

Although having been with Catherine for ten months and sleeping most nights at Catherine's house, Sara still had her place, her things and hadn't given much thought to moving in with the Willows', permanently. Catherine had wanted Sara to come live with them for a while now but she had never said anything, fearing she would be pushing the brunette and knowing in most circumstances Sara didn't respond well to being pushed.

"You will come back with us, right, Sara?" asked Lindsey, picking up on the silence and suddenly becoming a little unsure.

"Of course she will, sweetie," Catherine responded, not missing the hurt in her daughter's voice. "She will be released in a few days and will come home with us." Like a real family, she added silently.

A family. A loving and caring family. No hurting, no screaming, no fear, only companionship and love. Sara smiled feeling the tears forming behind her eyelids. That was all she'd ever wanted and now she'd finally have it.

"Like a real family?" Sara voiced Catherine's unspoken words and looked deep into her eyes which mirrored her own emotions. Lindsey smiled and lay closer Sara, hugging her just like her mother had done hours before.

They continued talking about unimportant stuff until Lindsey fell asleep on Sara. Nancy saw that as her cue to leave and take the littlest Willows home.

"Go, stay with her tonight. She needs you," Sara whispered to Catherine.

"What about you? What about the…" she paused uncertainly, "what about the nightmares?"

"How did you…?"

"It doesn't matter now. The only thing is that you know you don't have to hide from me anymore Sara. I love you and I want to be there for you, always!"

"I know. We'll talk later, I promise." Catherine nodded and kissed her lover's forehead before taking Lindsey in her arms.

"It was good to see you, Sara" Nancy said. Sara just smiled.

**tbc**


	4. Chapter 4

Sara was released four days later with a prescription and strict orders not to overdo it. The worst part was had been Dr Marlow's words as Catherine was wrapping an arm around her back to steady her for the walk to her car. She'd firmly and stubbornly refused to use a wheelchair.

She leaned her head back against the passenger's seat, placing her hands over the healing scar. She was glad to be walking again, but it was still painful after a while.

"You okay?" Catherine asked as she buckled herself in.

"I'm fine," she said in frustration, "I'm sick of people asking me that."

She chuckled, "we have to."

"Well stop. I'm perfectly able to tell you when I'm not okay." It amused her that she knew Catherine was raising an eyebrow incredulously. "I am!" she repeated.

"But you won't."

"I'm not going to miraculously get better instantly, there's going to be some pain in the whole experience. No pain, no gain."

"You'll put yourself back in the hospital with that kind of attitude," Catherine shot back. "The doctor does still have you on medication for the pain."

She rolled her eyes but part of her heart warmed at the notion that Catherine was so concerned about her recovery.

"I won't over-stress myself."

"This from the woman who was doing laps around her room late at night before the doctors allowed it. Excuse me if I don't take your word on this one."

"Your faith in me is astounding," Sara said wryly actually sticking her tongue out at her.

They chatted amicably for the rest of the ride and Sara was surprised to find they didn't talk about work or serial killers. Catherine pulled smoothly into the driveway shooting her a look. "I'm going to grab your bag, then come around. Don't move."

"Is that an order?" she asked impishly.

"Yes," she answered as she snatched the bag from the back. "I don't want to drive you all the way back to the hospital when I only just got you home."

"You're paranoid," Sara teased, opening her door and swinging herself around. It was all done with her right side in order to put minimum strain on her left.

"Patience is not one of your virtues."

"So I've been told." Sara grinned allowing Catherine to bend and wrap an arm around her back.

They made it up the front walk, Sara taking most of her own weight but allowing Catherine to keep her arm against her back. Who was she to complain if her beautiful woman wanted to stay so close?

"Excuse the mess," she apologized as she pushed the front door open. "I didn't exactly get a chance to straighten up."

"Cat, you have been in my place many a time and it is rarely ever clean."

"You're right, sorry. Come on, let's get you to bed." The look on Sara's face told her if she so much as suggested she take a nap she'd enjoy ripping out her insides. She huffed when she waved her up the stairs first.

"I have to get back to the lab," Catherine said frustrated, a note of apology in her tone.

"Go, I'll be fine. And I promise to keep myself out of trouble for a few hours."

Catherine wasn't sure she wanted to leave and she couldn't decide if it was because she wanted to watch over Sara or simply be there with her. Sara raised an eyebrow at the look on Catherine's face. "I can come with you if you're that worried?"

"No," she answered immediately.

"Then go! I have full mobility in all fingers so I can dial 911 if I have to." She perched her right hand on her hip, her left settled over her scar.

"You'll call if you need anything?"

"If I'd have known staying with you was going to be this stressful, I'd have gone back to the apartment."

The slight upward curving of the corners of her mouth clued Catherine into her tidbit of teasing. "Ouch."

"Go," she repeated, waving her arm in dismissal.

Catherine found it amusing to actually be shooed out of her own house.

A few days later, Catherine came home much later than she'd expected. A meeting with the sheriff had gone on much longer than she'd anticipated. She almost called out for Sara, but in the process of going to put her briefcase on the living room table found her sound asleep on the couch. She chuckled to herself, she wasn't really surprised.

She debated waking her but then turned the thought away, heading instead to the kitchen to actually make dinner. Sara had eventually bullied her into stocking her pretty empty cupboards so she had a variety of choices.

Fifteen minutes into cooking, she heard her lover pad in. When she turned to face her she had to remind herself to breathe. Sleep rumpled wasn't the only thing that looked good on Sara Sidle. Catherine's own shirt looked rather excellent on her as well.

"What are you cooking?" she asked voice scratchy from sleep.

"Dinner," Catherine answered smiling as Sara continued her approach.

Sara rested her hand on Catherine's shoulder as she eyed what was on the stove. "It smells good."

Catherine glanced down at her. "Nice shirt."

"My pajamas need washing and I can't pull anything over my head," she explained. "I would have asked but I figured explaining it would worry you."

"I can look for some other ones and put your pajamas in the wash tonight," Catherine volunteered. Sara made a contented thankful sound, tiredly resting her head against Cath's shoulder.

"Can I help?"

"You're falling asleep on my shoulder," she pointed out. "How much help are you going to be?"

"I'm fine," she contradicted, stifling a yawn. "I took two pills instead of one, that's all."

She was candid and touchy when drugged just as she tended to be once she consumed a few drinks. Catherine wrapped an arm around Sara to support her, fearing she would collapse if she let her go.

"It was that bad?"

"I shouldn't have to take another one before bed," she replied. She felt her eyes falling closed, comfortable against her lover.

"I'm not sure you'll be eating before bed at this rate."

"I'm just not awake yet. I'll be fine." Sara mumbles.

"Go to bed."

"No."

"I'll wake you up when dinner's ready."

Sara narrowed her eyes. "I don't trust you."

In the ensuing silence, Catherine was sure Sara had fallen asleep. When she turned to shift her into hers arms to carry her to bed, she was surprised to find her wide awake. She relented.

"Set the table?" Sara smiled and moved slowly, but methodically around the kitchen. Catherine couldn't help but smile. Now Catherine finally had everything she wanted, a great job, a wonderful family and a beautiful lover.

"What are you smiling at?" Her quiet voice startled Catherine and she realized Sara had finished with the table and was leaning against the counter again. Instead of answering with words, Catherine kissed Sara, long and deep. "I love you too" Sara mumbled into the kiss.

Sara sat at the table and watched as Catherine finished the meal. They ate in silence, just glancing at each other every now and then.

"Is there something you're not telling me babe?" Catherine asked and Sara blinked at her. Actually there were lots of things she wasn't telling. The nightmares, the frustration she knew she was feeling at her inability to reach for things, the overall feeling of needing to rely on someone else for things she was so used to doing herself were sure to break free soon. Catherine tried to send her silent encourage her with hers eyes.

"Nothing I can't handle," Sara responded. The blonde nodded.

Sara looked at her for a few moments, wondering if she was really just going to let it go that easily. She wasn't stupid and as much as she wished it, she wasn't perfect either. Things were going to slip through the cracks, weaknesses she hadn't counted on. It was starting to become very hard to stay strong, but she didn't necessarily want to unload it all on her lover.

They made small talk over the table while they ate, Sara eating considerably less than Catherine, though it was no surprise. Sara had been honest when she'd said the pills did bad things for her appetite, and she still wasn't fully awake. She collected their dishes when they were done, taking her time to stand up to take them to the sink. Catherine caught her half way there, an arm around her body, the other supporting the plates in her hand.

"Go have a shower, get into bed," she suggested softly. "You're going to do more harm than good down here. I'll clean up."

She relinquished the plates with a heavy sigh before making her way to the corridor.

Sara started the water with a sigh, trying to keep her eyes open. She hadn't taken two pills in almost a week, though would have normally have taken it much easier than she'd done today. Sara had taken it upon herself to do the weekly clean up, a sort of payment for letting her stay, and had over done it somewhat. Her body was trying to get her to sleep off the edge of the drugs, but she resisted valiantly.

The water felt fantastic on her body, as it did every time she got in the shower. She always felt dirty these days, though she was pretty sure that was mainly because she spent her days lounging around in her pajamas. Either that or it was her hair. Her body didn't take many awkward twists or turns to clean, but trying to wash her hair one handed was not a task she enjoyed. Eventually, she gave up.

Sara growled and swore as she stepped out of the shower. She'd been remarkably resourceful when it came to bodily hygiene, but it was still difficult to raise her left arm above her head. It had posed a problem in washing her hair. Up to this point, she'd managed to do a half-assed job of it.

"Sara?" She froze. She was still in her towel, her right arm holding another one in her very wet hair. "Yeah?"

"Is everything okay?"

Sara closed her eyes. She'd hoped her exclamation hadn't been loud enough for her lover to hear. Of course, she also assumed she was still downstairs cleaning up after dinner. "Fine," she lied, hoping she couldn't hear her gritting her teeth as she tried to rigorously clean her hair.

She sighed on the other side of the door. "I won't ask again.".

"It's nothing," she sighed finally. "Stupid vanity."

The frustration came through clear as day, as much in her voice as in her choice of words, and she had to bite back a smile. Catherine had known there was going to be logistical issues with everyday tasks and she'd bided her time, hoping Sara would just ask for help. But Sara was independent and stubborn.

"Would you like some help with your hair?" Sara looked at the door in surprised confusion. She'd been careful to hide this particular issue as best she could and it was a shock to her system to realize she hadn't done as good of a job as she'd hoped. Not to mention the shock of her offer of help. "Sara?"

**tbc**


	5. Chapter 5

Her hair was dripping, her scalp perpetually itchy from her inability to give it the usual thorough cleaning and she had Catherine standing on the other side of the door, offering to help. In the ever-waging battle between dignity and comfort, comfort had won this particular battle.

Sara almost jumped away from the door when she heard the lock turn. Catherine eyebrow went up as seeing her lover in nothing but a towel. They hadn't shared an intimate moment since the incident and although she knew it was best to wait, she couldn't help but think about how gorgeous Sara was and how much she wanted to touch her, and be touched as well.

"How are we going to do this?"

"I figured you had an idea?"

"Can you lean forwards?" Sara nodded, teeth still gnawing on her lip. "How far?"

"A little way, forwards is better than backwards."

Catherine sighed, trying to ignore how good Sara's hand felt in hers. She had to remove contact with her in order to be of any use but it was hard to let her go. Catherine sighed, heading for the tub and turning on the spray. She sent a silent prayer that the shower hose was able to be detached from its wall mount."C'mere."

Sara stepped toward her, both hands now clutching the towel at her cleavage.

"Tell me if you start to hurt," Catherine warned her as she guided her forward and tilted her head down, carefully running the water over her head. She then secured the showerhead and reached for her shampoo, squeezing a liberal amount into her hand.

Catherine was gentle, massaging Sara's head as she worked the suds down to the roots. Sara had a feeling this was going to be the best wash her hair had gotten since the last time she'd had time to hit the salon. She heard Catherine rinse her hands off before the warm water slid once again over her head and down her neck. Her eyes closed, and she let her body relax for a moment before remembering she was standing.

"Whoa," Catherine said, dropping the showerhead to catch her. "You okay?"

"I forgot I was standing." Catherine's arm shook around Sara's waist and she knew she was laughing. She let go of the towel with one hand in order to slap at her stomach.

"Okay, okay," Catherine said through the laughter, grabbing her hand and reaching with the other hand for the showerhead again. "Conditioner?"

"If it's okay?"

When was Sara going to realize it wasn't an inconvenience and that it made her so happy to be able to help? Gently, Catherine wrung the excess moisture from Sara's before directing her to stand tall. She gave her a moment to steady herself before going about combing the conditioner through her dark strands. Catherine was trying to ignore how her stomach was doing somersaults as she washed Sara's hair. She couldn't help but think about sliding her hand lower, but she caught herself reminding herself of the task in hand.

They were both silent as Catherine finished washing out the conditioner, squeezing the water from hair gently again before wrapping it in a towel.

"You are my savior," Sara said immediately, relief and gratitude obvious in her voice. "You have no idea how nice it is to actually have clean hair."

"It's no problem," Catherine said sincerely. "I'll help you comb it out when you're ready."

"You don't…" She stopped dead seeing the look on her lovers face. She blushed. She wasn't used to this much help. "…that would be fantastic."

Catherine gazed at Sara as she turn to go and put on her pajamas but she stopped in the doorway, both at the same time she realizing said pajamas were in the wash.

"Do you mind if I hang onto that shirt?" Sara asked, embarrassment painting her cheeks red. "I'll wash and iron it myself, but it's going to be the easiest thing to sleep in. I only have one pair of pajamas with a button-up shirt."

Catherine was nodding before Sara finished her explanation. However she could make this less painful or embarrassing for her, Catherine was willing to do it. "I'll do a laundry load tonight." She figured she'd be more comfortable in her own pajamas than her too-large shirt. Still, it had been quite the sight to behold.

Sara's smile conveyed every ounce of gratitude and relief for her help. "Thank you."

Catherine held her eyes, trying to tell her how much it meant that her strong, independent Sara had let her be such a big part of her recovery. "Anything you need babe."

Sara forced her eyes open as blood and death danced across the back of her eyelids. It wasn't her earlier nap that was keeping her from sleeping now, it was the nightmares. It was a repeat play list of terror across her mind's eye. The drugs usually allowed her a dreamless sleep, but she'd been trying to cut back and, true to her word, hadn't taken one before she'd gone to bed. The stubborn streak in her wouldn't let her take one until she was in pain or until the eight hour mark had passed. And even then she didn't want to take another one after taking two that afternoon.

It made for a very uncomfortable night.

Around four a.m. she crawled out of bed, finally giving up. It was kind of silly to take a pill then when she didn't feel any burning or uncomfortable ache in her side. So instead, she quietly made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Maybe tea would make the nightmares go away.

"Why are you up?" Catherine quizzed her lover gently.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" she asked, setting about making coffee. When she turned to face Sara it was all written in her eyes. Either she was just too tired to fight or too tired of the nightmares to hide them anymore.

"The pills help." She'd already accepted the help washing her hair, now at this point, hiding the nightmares didn't seem to make sense."

"But you didn't take one before bed."

They sat in silence while the coffee dripped into the carafe, Sara's fingers fidgeting with the handle of her mug. She couldn't tell her she didn't want her to go. That wouldn't be fair to her, the team or the people they were about to help.

"Tell me," Catherine requested softly, "about the nightmares." Sara took a deep breath and they both went to the get comfortable in the couch.

"There's not much to tell," she admitted honestly. "It's always a variation on the same theme. Sometimes I see my mother shooting me, sometimes it's my father, sometimes it's in the middle of the bullpen and no body comes to help. Theoretical I know they're not real. I know that I'm safe, I know I'm healing. But in my dreams…"

"Anything's possible."

"The worst thing is… I'm completely helpless."

"In your dreams?"

"In reality as well. I can't stop them. Except with the pills and I don't want to rely on drugs to get me through the night. The pain, I don't mind relying on them to get rid of that, but to take them because I can't keep death and gore out of my mind…" She shrugged helplessly. Catherine's heart was clenching painfully in her chest. She wasn't used to Sara being helpless. She was usually anything but. But part of her understood the sentiment. Catherine motioned for Sara to snuggle into her, which the brunette did without thinking twice.

"When do you wake up?"

"When I'm dead." Catherine nodded already expecting that answer.

"I wish I could make them go away my love," she said squeezing Sara's back.

"I know. Me too" The two women sat there, holding each other in comfort until eventually both fell asleep.

They woke up to the sound of Lindsey calling her mother's name.

"I'm hungry" the little girl said. Catherine squeezed her eyes and nodded. "Why are you two on the couch?"

"Sara didn't have a very good night and we needed to talk a little and ended up falling asleep here"

"Oh, ok. I'm sorry you didn't sleep well Sara"

"Thanks Lindsey"

"Come on sweetie, I'll make something for you. You lay here and I'll be back in a sec" Sara didn't argue this time. Someday those nightmares will disappear and everything will be ok again she thought to herself.

Catherine left the house at noon to go to work. With Sara incapable of working at the moment, she stayed with Lindsey, watching movies or talking.

**tbc**


	6. Chapter 6

Catherine unlocked the door and stepped into the house, thankful, as always, that she was home. She set her purse on the table down and went off in search of Sara with a little secret grin. If she was bored enough, she was sure she could get help on the paperwork she'd brought back with her.

She wasn't on the couch or in the kitchen, though she'd left dishes in the sink and her pills on the counter. She was probably upstairs napping, so she took hers time rinsing her dishes and putting them in the dishwasher before making hers way upstairs. She'd missed her more than usual today, and though she'd checked in on the phone a number of times, it wasn't the same as seeing her face to face. She made her way slowly up the stairs, intending on changing out of her suit before settling down at the dining room table with the work she'd brought home. She stepped into hers room and stopped dead.

Sara was snuggled tightly under the blanket she usually kept at the end of the bed, completely dead to the world. She dropped hers jacket on the chair in the corner, watching her. Hers chest expanded with warmth at the picture she made and, like she had months ago when she'd first found her napping, she sat down on the bed beside her, brushing hair out of her face.

She was slightly surprised to find her calm, not even a wrinkle in her forehead to indicate any kind of dream whatsoever. She sighed. Maybe she was getting better. Maybe she didn't have nightmares anymore. Maybe she was ready to come back to work. The pills on the counter told otherwise, but she had been out of the hospital for three months. She could probably at least go back for her desk duty. Her limited movement would keep her out of the field for at least another month.

Catherine stood changing out of hers suit for jeans and a t-shirt. When she went back into the room Sara was waking up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't wait up for you."

"You don't have to be sorry babe. How was your night?"

"Better than yesterday for sure" The answer made Catherine smile. "How was work?"

"Ok. I brought some paperwork to do it here"

"I can do it for you, if you want" Sara said with a smile. Catherine pretended to be think for a moment then nodded. "You wouldn't know when Grissom will let me get back to work, right? Because I don't think I can be at home all day long any longer. What? What is it?"

"It's the first time you said home instead of my place"

"Well, this is my home now, isn't it?" Catherine nodded, feeling the happiest person in the world. "I didn't tell you yesterday because I forgot but I already told the owner of my apartment that I'll be leaving soon and, I arrange with a furniture van next Friday to pick all my stuff and bring here. Is that ok?" Sara asked shyly.

"Of course it is! Do we need to call the guys for help?"

"No, we can handle"

"Sara, don't even think I'll let you set up your bookstand or the desk or anything bigger than a book"

"I already knew you would say that, but don't worry, the guy from the van company will do it"

"Good"

"Do you think Lindsey will agree to help me with the books and cds?"

"I'm sure she will love that"

"Great. Maybe Saturday we can go celebrate, what you think?"

"Sounds perfect. You are really happy about moving in, aren't you?"

"Why wouldn't I? I've known for a long time that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and Lindsey, Cat. I just didn't want to push things too soon. But after what happened I realize that we never know when something bad will happen, so we have to enjoy as much as we can, while we still can."

"You are right. You are definitely right," Catherine said focusing her eyes on Sara's eyes and lips, before kissing the brunette. They explored every inch of each others' mouths before breaking apart, taking a few deep breaths. Catherine saw the lust and desire in her lover's eyes and knew that her eyes were showing the same, she so desperately wanted to reach out and… but…

"I'm sure" Sara said before the blonde could ask.

Catherine's hand immediately started moving under Sara shirt. Sara gasped in shock at the coolness of her hand against the heat of her skin. Catherine leant forward for another searing kiss, resting her hand beside Sara, waiting until their temperatures matched before sliding her hand upward. As she pushed the fabric upwards, she kissed each bit of newly exposed flesh.

Catherine laughed lightly against Sara's skin, her breath causing shiver to run down Sara's body. Catherine dipped her tongue into Sara's navel taking her time which caused Sara to groan in pure frustration wanting her lower. As Catherine's tongue moved in and out of her belly button control slipped from Sara's grasp and her hips rose to the rhythm. Catherine's hands moved her shirt up another inch and her lips followed yet again. It was a slow torture and Sara found herself getting impatient.

"Just take it off." Sara whispered breathlessly

Catherine smiled against her skin and complied without question removing the shirt along with Sara's bra. Catherine took her time licking every part of her right nipple before sucking it into her hot mouth and biting down a little less than gently. Sara pushed her body into Catherine who pushed back against Sara with equal force, making the brunette moan in delight.

Continuing to take care of Sara's other breast, Catherine's right hand slowly slipped inside Sara's pants, she couldn't wait any longer to touch her lover so intimately and judging by Sara's erratic breathing and reactions, neither could she. Catherine moaned as she felt just how wet Sara was, and it was all for her. She brushed one finger through Sara's slick folds then focused all her efforts on teasing the brunette's swollen clitoris. Sara's moans were sending bolts of unchecked lust through Catherine which settled in an intense burning between her thighs. They worked together, rocking against each other and before Sara knew it, Catherine had entered her, first with one then two fingers. Sara bit her lip to reign in a scream of pleasure.

"God babe, I miss you! And I miss this… being inside you… Oh, you feel so good…" Catherine whispered hoarsely, pumping her fingers in and out of her writhing lover. "And I'll bet you still taste incredible…" she completed before brushing her tongue over Sara's throbbing clit.

"Holy shit!" Sara body started to shake and she grabbed handfuls of the sheet to steady herself.

"So good babe, so good… come for me, I know you are almost there… let go Sara…let go for me…" Catherine coaxed reveling in the sight of her lover's body shaking and trembling on the verge of release.

In was only seconds longer that just like the blonde so desperately wanted, Sara came. She came on Catherine, cher muscles clamping down tightly around Catherine's fingers. She screamed her lover's nickname loudly as Catherine continued her movements, helping Sara to ride out every last wave of pleasure from her orgasm. Remaining inside her until Sara's body stopped convulsing Catherine then reluctantly withdrew her fingers and took them straight to her mouth. God she had missed the amazing taste of Sara, it had been too long.

"I love you" she whispered into Sara's ear. The brunette opened her eyes which sparkled and shone, a huge smile lighting up her whole face as she tried to regulate her breathing.

"No more than I love you" she said. "I think now it's my turn…"

"Only if you really want, I don't want you to be worn out. I can wait till another time." Sara looked intensely into Catherine's eyes before leaning in for a kiss, a long, deep passionate kiss. She showed the blonde exactly what she wanted to do. Catherine couldn't stifle the grin as her insatiable Sara rolled on top of her, their lips still pressed together.

**tbc**


	7. Chapter 7

Catherine woke after a few hours feeling just great. She smiled happily at seeing Sara still at her side, eyes closed. The way Sara's hands worked her, drew the most incredible sensations from her body was like nothing she'd ever experienced before with anyone else she's ever been with. With Sara every single time was special, she felt like a goddess. She never needed to say anything because Sara knew how to read her body perfectly. She tucked a few stray hairs behind her lover's ear in order to look at her beautiful features. The simple gesture caused Sara to stir and instinctively pull the blonde closer.

"Hi there," Sara whispered kissing her shoulder.

"Hey yourself, I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Honey, I never mind when you're the one to wake me." Catherine kissed Sara's hair and turned her head to look out of the window.

There was one thing Catherine wanted to know, but didn't know how to ask without upsetting Sara, or worse, causing her to completely shut down. Sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if Sara really trusted her, in the way she trusted Sara, with everything, good or bad. Every time she thought about it, tears started to form in her eyes as they were doing right now.

"I'm going to make us some breakfast, ok?" she said squeezing Sara's back, needing to get away. Before Sara could respond, Catherine pushed her lover's arm away and got up. Sara looked at her with confusion but Catherine didn't say anything - or look at her for that matter – she just put on her robe and walked out of the room.

Holding the sink with both hands she tried to calm down. Why was Sara always so insecure, so… afraid? Why did that insecurity affect Catherine so much? And why couldn't Catherine just be happy for having Sara, the person she had been in love with for a long while now, in her life? A voice echoed in the room, and Catherine looked to the door with a genuine smile.

"Hey sweetie, did you sleep ok?"

"Yes I did."

"What are you feeling up to today: eggs, pancakes…?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened, babe."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Yeah right, and I'm five years old," Lindsey huffed putting both hand on her hips. Catherine couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's grown-up comment and because of that, a few more tears escaped. She walked towards her daughter and hugged her tight.

"I just woke up feeling a little emotional, that's all, and you don't have to worry about your mom, sweetheart."

"I always worry about you. I love you"

"I love you too babe. Very much"

"So what is it?"

"My Lindsey, aren't you a persistent little thing today," Catherine chuckled, brushing the little blonde's hair.

"I'm your daughter so of course I am and you are running away from answering." Lindsey said looking up to her mother "Is it about Sara? Is she the reason why you're crying?" Catherine opened her mouth but closed it again straight away, she didn't want to lie to her kid but at the same time she didn't want to explain herself. "You guys are not breaking up, are you?" she asked, a wide-eyed worried look on her face.

"No sweetie," Catherine answered getting on her in her knees in front of the girl. "No, we're not. In fact she'd very much like to move in with us soon."

"Great!"

"You know I like to know everything right, and that if it was possible I would actually like to be a mind reader?" Lindsey nodded with a smile on her face. "Well, there are a few things I don't know about Sara and because I care so much about her, because I love her, I wish I knew."

"Then why don't you just ask her?"

"I don't want to push her. I want her to trust me with whatever happens when she is ready for that, so for now I have to wait."

"I understand but if you are hurt because of it, wouldn't it be better if you ask her? I'm sure she won't get mad at you and if she doesn't answer right away then you could ask again later."

"Since when did you become so grown up?" Lindsey rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'm sorry; you don't like me talking like that. But I will think about asking her ok? Thank you for cheering me up honey."

"No problem. I like to see you happy," Lindsey said with a big smile. "Now, about breakfast, I want pancakes with bacon!"

"Ok. Pancakes with bacon it is," Catherine nodded going to the fridge. "Can you help me arrange the table?" she asked without looking back.

Lindsey went to the cupboard to fetch the table cloth when she saw Sara standing in the doorway. Sara saw the smile rising on the girls face and signaled for her to stay quiet, leave the room and that she would arrange everything. Lindsey nodded in understanding and left without a word. Sara watched her lover prepare the stove and start the meal.

"She is right, you know," Sara said low enough so Catherine didn't startle. But it didn't make any difference because Catherine was so submerged in her thoughts that she still jumped in surprise and let go the frying-pan causing a loud bang to echo round the room. Everything would have fallen on the floor if Sara hadn't grabbed the handle fast enough.

"Thank you," Catherine said returning to her task.

"So are you going to ask me now?" Sara said, resting her body at the sink and looking to Catherine. "I promise I'll answer whatever it is."

Catherine sighed, she figured it was probably just best to come out with it after all she had Sara right in front of her now and a promise that she'd answer her. It was now or never. "Were you abused Sara, as a child… did your father…" Catherine couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence but she knew she didn't need to, both of them knew exactly what she was meaning.

Sara steeled herself, working up the courage to speak as she felt her eyes pricking with tears.

"I knew the doctor would talk to you about it," Sara admitted, making her way to the table and sitting down, "I'm surprised that you didn't push the issue at the hospital."

"I didn't want to do that," Catherine said starting to get slightly frustrated at Sara's reluctance to answer the damn question. Why didn't she trust her?

"I appreciate that," The blonde looked at her with surprise, her frustration fading, as Sara continued. "Yes, my father abused me. He beat me and raped me many times. He was responsible for my injuries, all of them." Catherine blinked the tears from her eyes as she felt a chill grasp her heart. How could anyone do such a terrible thing to her beautiful Sara? She nodded in understanding, encouraging Sara to continue.

Within a few minutes Sara had given her a brief overview of her family life as a child, and all about her parents. What they did for a living, how they treated her and her brother. When her father lost his job he'd gotten angry, an anger that burned him up and he took it out on her. He started to beat her and not long after that sexually assault her on a regular basis. She told Catherine about the night when her family was finally torn apart for good when her Mom finally ended her father's abusive streak in a brutal and most bloody manner. Catherine gave Sara all the time she needed and just listened giving Sara all the silent support she needed and allowing her tears to fall freely mirroring the ones falling down Sara's cheeks. Catherine cried for the little girl who had only known so many bad things and when Sara had finished talking she cried because she was happy that she now had the chance to show Sara all the love she deserved, all the love she was never given as a child.

Catherine finished the breakfast and put it on the table.

"Thank you for being honest with me," she said kissing the brunette tenderly, "if we are going to be living together I think we shouldn't have secrets from each other, especially ones that important. And Sara, knowing what happened to you doesn't change how I feel about you at all."

"It doesn't?"

"Honey, the past makes us who we are today, and I love you because of who you are. The person you have become, my caring, beautiful, intelligent, loving Sara. My Sara who would do anything for the ones she loves."

"So you are not concerned that I may become like them? A violent drunk? Maybe a killer?"

"Of course not," Catherine answered without hesitation looking Sara in the eye. Sara nodded and looked down feeling her tears once again coming to the surface. Catherine kneeled in front of Sara and touched her beautiful face. "If I felt for a moment that you were like them, could harm me or Lindsey then we wouldn't be here together, having breakfast after a night of such a tender and amazingly passionate love-making."

Sara couldn't speak as Catherine brushed the tears from her face. She didn't need to, she suddenly felt safe, free. Catherine was there for her and was vowing to be there for as long as she wanted it. She felt like the luckiest woman alive.

After allowing time for Sara's tears to dry Catherine let go of her hand and went back to dishing up the breakfast. "Can you get Lindsey for me?" she asked. Sara nodded and got up. "I love you Sara," Catherine whispered before the brunette could leave the room. The brunette looked at her with glowing eyes full of emotion.

"I love you too."

Sara had always wanted to have someone to spend her life with, to have a properly family and now she'd found one, an amazing one. Catherine, she had been scared of ever falling in love again, but she had allowed Sara in and that was all it took. She fell for her with everything. Catherin knew that for as long as Sara continued to love and want her and Lindsey, she could face any obstacle life could throw at her, every one.

**Epilogue:**

The person responsible for the death of Anthony Carson was arrested a few weeks later. Christopher Day turned out to be Anthony's life partner. He had thought Anthony was cheating on him and had convinced himself so much so that he confronted him. Christopher hadn't liked the answer he'd been given and it had quickly resulted in violence and in Anthony being murdered. It turned out that it was not the first time Christopher had used violence against someone he supposedly loved.

As for the person who shot Sara, the evidence was inconclusive and the case remained open. Christopher was the prime suspect but without evidence and with his strong denial nothing could be done, but the CSI's won't give up, Catherine won't give up, they will continue searching and eventually bring the person to justice for Sara, for the woman who deserves such justice in her life and for her new and loving family.

**The End**

**Please don't kill me! I know it would be great to get the bastard who did it, but the relationship between them was more important than that in this fic. **


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